Apropos of Comic Reviews: New and Mighty Avengers 3/08, and Secret Invasion Prologue
It looks like it’s been a fine week for NERD RAGE down at Marvel this week. Between Hawkeye’s MC Chris shirt, Doom and Dugan getting their asses kicked, and a certain rude awakening over how much bullshit Secret Invasion will bring to the table, geeks had a lot of insignificant things to throw shit fits over lately.
NEW AVENGERS #39
Nothing happened. And if you don’t believe me, read it again. Wow, a Daredevil Skrull. As if there weren’t a million Daredevils running around. And it also had a bunch of the X-Men’s powers, thus begging the question of how Echo managed to survive the whole thing. What follows is the usual melodrama and… wait just a fucking minute…
How EDGY of you. Apparently, Hawkeye likes Nerd Rap. No Commento…
It did end on a humorous high note though, with a very special First-Person facepalm from Echo after sleeping with Hawkeye.
It’s nice to see something worth laughing at. We probably won’t see a good joke that overcomes the sheer misguided anger the next few issues will bring. On the bright side, at least New Avengers will have a centered plot soon.
MIGHTY AVENGERS #11
Following the trail of the Symbiote bomb dropped on New York, The Mighty Avengers come face to face with Dr. Doom in Latveria
Ends in sex.
They are promptly beaten senseless and wake up in a generic purple force field provided by a stuttering worried Doom.
One day, all the sluts of the world will build a statue in Janet Van Dyne’s honor.
What follows is an interesting monologue by Doom, which pretty much goes:
“Do you think anyone would care if you died, Ms Marvel? No. You suck. You too, Wonderman, Wasp, Spider-Woman, Black Widow,… not you though, Ares. You’re kinda cool. You thought bubbles and isn’t afraid of anything.“
They eventually break out when Spider-Woman breaks out her “I’m some sort of special Kree secret agent or something but you shouldn’t know that” power, and what results is an epic battle filled with explosions, thought bubbles, and… w-wait…
no…
DOCTOR DOOM DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
But seriously, what about his diplomatic immunity? Don’t they already know that it’s Ultron’s fault the bomb dropped? Are they just phoning this shit in? Were the Secret Invasion spoilers… right?
Hot fuck.
Nothing much happens afterwards, except for pretty much confirming Black Widow is a person of interest.
Here’s to hoping next month’s is not as… crap. I’m going to complain a lot in these reviews…
SECRET INVASION PROLOGUE
It’s short, so let me give a quick rundown.
- I takes place a few days after the end of Civil War, the night Captain America is killed.
- A drunk and angry SHIELD agent is complaining that it’s all Nick Fury’s fault, while another agent tries to calm him down - pointing out that Nick’s man-love “Dum Dum” Dugan is eavesdropping. Dugan throws a bottle in rage and goes home to cry like a Frenchman.
- Valentina Allegra Halim Ondore de Fontaine IV shows up and asks if Cap is really dead. what follows shocks the entire fandom, when…
- THEY FUCKING
KILLINCAPACITATE DUGAN!!! - She makes a comment about Fury caring about Dugan, implying that he is either a Skrull, or doesn’t know de Fontaine is a Skrull.
- We learn that SHIELD’s #2 has been an impostor for months, and the question of why Squirrel Girl was never used during World War Hulk is finally logically explained.
And that’s it for now. See you next time.
Leave a Reply