Apropos of Comics: The Exterminators #30 [FINAL ISSUE]

Ten months ago, I found a comic. I downloaded it on a whim; some fat shit on the internet (Who I love with all my heart) said it was one of the best things ever written. And you know what? It really fucking is.

A few scans in, the good ol’ DCP folks mentioned that the sales have been declining. “Hot crap!”, I said. “Why would people neglect such a great series? I am going to go buy an issue at my local neckbeard hoven tomorrow!”. I went, and I saw none. Sure, there was plenty of stuff Bendis wrote, or indie hipster comics that do so well in Rocketship, but no Exterminators. I tried hard to tell people about it. It’s amazing. It’s wonderful. But the funny thing is, by the time I started onto this fanatic campaign, it was already canceled.

What the hell? We don’t get many things this good in our lives. Well, actually, we do, but it goes by the wayside. We don’t notice. We’re all guilty of it, and no amount of bitching is going to bring the series back. But there is something we can do. When you see a “#1″ in the funny book shop, thumb through it. Ignore the poor fat bastard running the place and read it for as long as it takes for his patience to run out and for his large fat foot to reach your poor inquisitive ass. Every once in a while, you will like what you see. That’s when you buy it. When you buy it, go onto 4chan, Newsarama, CBR, and any other fanboy clubhouse on this interweb, and convince everyone you can that you have found a good thing.

Are you up for more laughs? I have not bought a single issue or TPB of The Exterminators. Funny. I kinda wish I have.

This isn’t a review. It’s a eulogy. And a reminder. From now on, I’m putting money to good things. Next up on the ‘to save’ list: The Boys.

See you all later, then.

This is very noticably rushed, but I can't complain. They gave us 30 good months worth of story, and that's much more than a lot of other comics could say.

This is very noticably rushed, but I can't complain. They gave us 30 good months worth of story, and that's much more than a lot of other comics could say.

Apropos of Anime: Gurren Lagann parallel works #2-6 videos

Song: So this is burning? Do you like it?
Director: Suezen

Song: Boing vs Boing
Director: Hirokazu Kojima

Song: Pierce the Heavens With Your XXX!
Director: Ryouji Masuyama

Song: Rap is the Soul of a Man! Perk Up Your Earholes and Listen REAL Close to the Theme of Lord Kamina, the Man of Raging Billows Who Believes in Himself and Points to Heaven!!

Director: ???

Song: To Hell With Gattai!
Director: Akira Amemiya

Apropos of Copypasta: “Hi, I’m Joe Quesada”

I keep on hearing ” Touhou is the strongest around”. Fucking Amateurs. Not one of those little bitch witches can fuck with my fictional posse. If you guys don’t know, I’m Joe Quesada. I am the fucking master of magic. Fuck with me, and your life will be miserable very soon. One day you’ll be fucking your beautiful supermodel wife, and the next you’ll be jobless and living with your old ass aunt in Queens.

You think I’m scary? Then you don’t want to fuck with THANOS. He once threw a bitchfit on the other side of the Universe. The force of said bitchfit was reduced to 2% by the time it hit Earth.

It completely destroyed Japan.

Holy shit right? You thinks he’s awesome? You don’t know about BLACK BOLT. Motherfucker can destroy a continent by whistling the theme song to Lucky Star. By the time he hits “AI MAI-” or however the fucking song goes, your leg is on Mars and your dick is in Ceres. You don’t want to fuck with that guy.

And that’s nothing. Motherfuckers don’t want to touch THE SENTRY. He was one of my better achievements. I was watching DBZ one day while masturbating to Superman comics. That’s when I went “Oh shit, what if I put these sexy motherfuckers together and doubled their powers?” The Sentry is so strong, he can kill Gods. Black Bolt destroys planets? This ghastly motherfucker eats suns. You know how you faggots like to put your finger up your asses while masturbating? He just stuffed Antares up his ass while masturbating. And he used the energy to go back in time and come. The Big Bang was just his orgasm. Hot greasy fuck.

And that is why DoDonPachi is the pinnacle of manic shooters.

Apropos of Videogames: The reason for ‘The Console War’

You see, ass-hurt console war crap come mostly from internal regret. From wasting a paycheck and waiting in the rain for a console, or underestimating your mother’s “you can only have one” rule, regret can be, and probably IS the biggest driving force behind console fanboys.

The Wii had the best launch by far, and is still beating the crap out of the competition, leaving old school Nintendo fanboys and once regretful 1st generation DS owners (who lucked out on the system’s initial lackluster success) laughing all the way to their mother’s basements. The problem is, after Brawl was released, Wii owners noticed not only that there are very few good exclusives, but there doesn’t seem to be many good games on the horizon. Slowly, many are realizing that the Wii may truly be a ‘Gamecube 1.5′.

The PlayStation’s fall from grace is by far the biggest story to come from this generation. The initial failure of the overpriced console left it’s purchases restrained only to Sony loyalists, optimists, graphics whores, and kids that got shafted come Christmas time. Things looked entirely grim, until the turning point at last year’s E3, along with the release of MGS4 and the so-called ‘Blue-Ray victory’ led to pessimists dropping their guards and embracing the console. It’s sudden upturn, in addition to a slew of new exclusives, has not only returned hope to Sony’s eyes, but has led fanboys to strike back at their opposite competition with a violent vengeance.

Which leaves the 360. With good sales and the highest number of quality exclusives, the 360 owners should be the happiest fanboys of the bunch. But lately, with the rise of the PS3’s sales and the Wii’s dominance, the possibility of the 360, once the shining star of the generation, ending up the least successful, has fanboys absolutely livid. Even worse, the constant comments from casual and non-fanboy PS3 owners raving about their new console for no reason other than the fact that they just like to play the games has led to hilariously horrible fanboy wars being ‘fought’ on every corner of the internet.

This combination of groupthink and regret felt on every side has led to the most blatant and annoying generation of video game fanboyism ever seen. Even worse, more and more aging children are being brought into this gloriously unhealthy fandom with this powerful fanboy mindset, which may mean that all future generations of video games inspire the same undeserved rage this one has.

Currently Playing:

The Orange Box

Etrian Odyssey 2

Videogame Queue:

Final Fantasy XII

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2

Grand Theft Auto IV

Megaman Star Force 2