I keep on hearing ” Touhou is the strongest around”. Fucking Amateurs. Not one of those little bitch witches can fuck with my fictional posse. If you guys don’t know, I’m Joe Quesada. I am the fucking master of magic. Fuck with me, and your life will be miserable very soon. One day you’ll be fucking your beautiful supermodel wife, and the next you’ll be jobless and living with your old ass aunt in Queens.
You think I’m scary? Then you don’t want to fuck with THANOS. He once threw a bitchfit on the other side of the Universe. The force of said bitchfit was reduced to 2% by the time it hit Earth.
It completely destroyed Japan.
Holy shit right? You thinks he’s awesome? You don’t know about BLACK BOLT. Motherfucker can destroy a continent by whistling the theme song to Lucky Star. By the time he hits “AI MAI-” or however the fucking song goes, your leg is on Mars and your dick is in Ceres. You don’t want to fuck with that guy.
And that’s nothing. Motherfuckers don’t want to touch THE SENTRY. He was one of my better achievements. I was watching DBZ one day while masturbating to Superman comics. That’s when I went “Oh shit, what if I put these sexy motherfuckers together and doubled their powers?” The Sentry is so strong, he can kill Gods. Black Bolt destroys planets? This ghastly motherfucker eats suns. You know how you faggots like to put your finger up your asses while masturbating? He just stuffed Antares up his ass while masturbating. And he used the energy to go back in time and come. The Big Bang was just his orgasm. Hot greasy fuck.
And that is why DoDonPachi is the pinnacle of manic shooters.
